There is nothing more difficult than the loss of a baby. It comes without reason or warning. It leaves a hole that nothing can ever fill. I know because I have been through it. There isn’t anything that can prepare you for it and nothing anyone can say to make it better. Now don’t get me wrong…the love and support from family and friends meant the world but it was still tough. But even after all these years (August 2008) it is still so hard to talk about it. Not just because of the loss either.
The Stigma of the Loss
I am not sure why this is but for some reason many women feel ashamed when they lose a baby. Maybe it was our fault since we were the ones carrying the baby. Maybe we did something wrong, like ate the wrong foods or exercise too much. Who knows. But women shouldn’t feel like this because it’s not their fault. These women did not do anything wrong. Sometimes it just happens. I think society in general needs to change their views on this and start embracing women who lose a baby or are struggling to conceive. I’m pretty sure I could go on forever about the stigma surrounding this but I won’t.
Even with all the advances in technology, pregnancy can be challenging and scary for many. A million things can go wrong or cause a couple not to get pregnant. I do not have all the answers or any reasons that a healthy couple will lose a baby or have to wait years and years. I wish I did. The heartbreak is all to real.
A Rainbow Baby
A rainbow is a beautiful thing to behold. I truly love seeing them and so do my kids. But for me, a rainbow is a promise. A light at the end of the tunnel so to speak or beauty after a storm so to speak.
I had never heard the term “rainbow baby” when I lost my baby. Actually, I had not even heard the term used before I started working as a photographer and working with maternity and newborns. But once I did I loved it and especially the meaning of it since I looked at rainbows as a promise. A “Rainbow Baby” is a baby that comes after a pregnancy loss(es) or an infant death. This baby is a promise of life and love and that is special. I have my own rainbow baby and his name is Connor. I love that he carries that special place in my heart.
Honoring these Mamas
As October 15th rolls around each year I think a little longer about the love I lost and wonder what he/she would be like today. My baby would be 10. It’s hard to believe that it has been that long. My heart still misses that little one. One day we will be reunited but until then I keep him/her in my heart.
I love that this day women all over the world can step into the light and be honored for the trauma they went through and the loves they lost. Where women can feel loved and supported and not alone. I think not feeling alone in their grief is so important. These babies were loved and wanted and missed. I have a friend I have known FOREVER ad she makes sure she calls me each year to let me know that she loves me and honors my loss. It means more to me than she can ever know.
A Maternity Rainbow Session
Last year, I had the privilege of photographing a mama who was carrying her own rainbow baby. I loved hearing her story and rejoicing with her over the upcoming birth of her baby. I actually went out and got a rainbow dress just for her to wear for our session. Her love for her new baby was just so apparent. Check out some of my favorites from our season together.
And to those mamas who have suffered a pregnancy loss or infant death…You are enough. You are special. You are NOT alone. <3
If you are thinking of booking a maternity or newborn session with me, I would love to chat. Contact me HERE now to get more information and get your date on my calendar.